We are up in Kenmore in beautiful Highland Perthshire for a week celebrating my 50 years’ continuous service to the planet producing greenhouse gases (mostly CO2 but significant amounts of CH4 and SO2 too: see recipe). The Brat and her boyfriend in typical student manner sniffed out a free weekend and food+drink so joined us for the start of the festivities. All very enjoyable and abstemious (ahem). A no-presents rule had been universally ignored, and so I want to tell you about two in particular.
The first was the birth of Kev’s Copse with some trees to be planted down in the Cree Valley Woodland 1. I’ve raved about this area before and the Missus with her laser-sharp intellect latched on to this and enlisted Boyfriend-of-Brat in some tree buying 2. This will be something for future generations to venerate and enjoy (along with the summer migrants my copse will attract). I was extremely pleased as it will add to an area I love long after I’m feeding the Ravens 3.
Not to be outdone, the Brat got me a solar system, in Ursa Major no less! We always taught her to think big, and she brilliantly named it “Throat-warbler Mangrove” in my honour (good to see the Monty Python bedtime storytelling wasn’t wasted!). Given the rate at which exoplanets are being found around stars, it is almost guaranteed to have planets orbiting it, and will probably have life 4. So I gave my life-forms a birthday wave and when the light reaches them in 247 years I’ll be regarded as a god: coincidentally around the same time the oaks and hazel in Kev’s Copse will be at their prime. Now that’s what I call great presents. Thank you.
- At NX400788. ↩
- Sessile Oak and Hazel, since you ask. ↩
- My family has a tendency to discuss funeral arrangements – probably because it annoys the Brat! Regular readers will know I intend for my remains to be left on some remote Galloway hill to feed the Ravens. ↩
- No scientific basis for this, yet: it was added purely to annoy any creationists who might read this. And, no, you don’t deserve a capital letter: you do deserve a proper education, though. ↩